Mom ... That Dude Has His Cup!!!

I'm late, I'm late for

A very important date.

No time to say hello, good-bye,

I'm late, I'm late, I'm late …

By: The White Rabbit

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I woke up today by getting a text from my mom.  “Will you go to church with me?”  I stared at it for a while … then replied “yes”.  I have a love/hate relationship with church.  As I am sure the Lord would not be so fond of me saying that … it has been the way I’ve felt for a long time now. 

The saying “the number one cause of Atheism is Christianity” comes to mind when I think about church.  The only church I ever remember going to was the church that I grew up in.  And while growing up I always followed the rules, was very conformed, and very straight-laced.  Then I grew up.  Then came the piercings.  Then came the tattoos.  Then came the “judgment”. 

This so called judgment may have just been perceived, but I still felt unwelcomed, like I was not part of the church community.  So I no longer went to church and felt for a long time that if that was the way “Christians” were, then I did not want to be associated with that type of behavior.  I am a very accepting person, and Jesus loved all of His children, so I did not understand the feeling of being judged.

That being said, it has been far too long since I have been to church.  I feel very distant from my faith, and at a time when I know I will need faith more than anything (fear of joblessness, fear of my husband’s deployment, fear of a really big upcoming surgery) I feel that it really is time to stop making excuses and get my bum to church!

While getting ready this morning, thinking that we were going back to the church I grew up in, Mom asked if I would like to try a new church.  Now, for any of you that know me, the word “social anxiety” should immediately come to your mind.  The words “going to new places” and “Kari” do not mix well: oil and water.  Also, I really like the Pastor at our old church.  But it would be mom’s first time going to this church too, so at least I wouldn’t be alone.  The new problem – this sermon starts earlier than the one we were planning to go to and I was only half through with straightening my hair.  UH OH – time to hurry up.

I some how miraculously finished my hair and slapped make-up on my face in time.  I even had time to put coffee in my travel mug before we were on our way.  If I was going some place new with people I didn’t know, I was at least looking good and being caffeinated in the process. 

We pull into the parking lot.  There are a lot of cars?  But we were 5 minutes early?  We get out of the car … mom looks at me in wonderment at the face I am toting in my DIVA purse and my coffee cup.  “You’re really bringing in your cup?” She asked as we were walking towards the doors.  Just then a couple walked out in front of us.  “Mom … dude has his cup!” So I felt justified.  The nice couple held the door for us … we all walked in to the entryway.  All four of us stood, puzzled.  The doors to the church were closed and the Pastor was fervently delivering his message.  Um?  Weren’t we 5 minutes early? 

The nice couple then showed us how to “sneak into church” by going up to the balcony.  Thank GOD they walked in with us, because knowing my social anxiety, I would have turned around and left.  So up we went to the balcony and a nice lady waved us down to two empty seats.  And there we sat, just mom and I, looking down over this new church and the Pastor that was giving his message.  On the pulpit, he has his coffee mug.

Although we only got to hear about 20 minutes of the message, it seemed to be a good 20 minutes.  The church uses the NIV Bible, and although I am ashamed to say it, I like that because I don’t feel like such an idiot trying to decipher the King James Version.  After the ending prayer, the nice lady that flagged us down told us that we would have been on time, but this was the first week the church switched to summer hours and that church starts at 9.30 now.  Good to know.  I saw no Sunday hats, but a “come as you are” dress code.  There was also a “Support Your Troops” wall with a donation bucket for “Cell Phones For Soldiers”.  I think I might be sold.

Mom and I walked out, said “try again next time?” and drove home.  We made a huge Sunday breakfast with blueberry pancakes, eggs, and bacon.  I was a nice morning.  Mom, Dad, and I sat down for some breakfast and talked about going back to church next weekend.  We told Dad about it, he said he would go next week (which is a shocker, he never wants to go).  I text my husband about it, he said he would go.  So next week, we are going to have a new church adventure, the four of us together, and actually be on time and hear the whole message. 

I’m actually very excited for next Sunday, like it was going to be Christmas.  My husband will be home.  My Dad is willingly going to church.  We are going as a family.  Joey and I are going to have our very first family portraits taken with our little pigs (Cosmo and Elaine).  I am sure that these next 7 days are going to take forever to go by, but I’m sure waiting will make it that much more fantastic.

I would like to end this post by apologizing if my feelings or opinions were offensive to anyone that I went to church with in the past.  It is that church that helped to shape me into who I am today, and those lessons that will not be forgotten.