With Love ...

When you're at the end of the road

And you lost all sense of control

And your thoughts have taken their toll

When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul

Your faith walks on broken glass

And the hangover doesn't pass

Nothing's ever built to last

You're in ruins

One, 21 guns

Lay down your arms, give up the fight

One, 21 guns

Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

BY: GREEN DAY

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Well, as the minutes tick by, it gets closer and closer to surgery time.  I made it back from Boston at 2 AM, and got very little sleep before I had to be up to bring back the rental car.  My wake up call came before the alarm from Joey.  I made it to Paris, but was having a difficult time getting back to Germany.  They weren’t going to let him on the plane, but thank goodness they did, or we would have had to magically invent a money tree to buy him a ticket to Germany.  It would have been awful.  After a train catastrophe, and hours later, he finally made it back to his base and his room.  If it was a long day of worrying for me, it must have been terrible for Joey.  But thankfully, he is safe, and that is all I can ask for, for now.

I took care of some things today, went to the bank, did laundry, changed my sheets, saw a friend and met her super cute daughter, saw another friend and shared some dinner … got mostly everything done on my list except for giving the pigs a bath.  So, after surgery, I will have a clean bed and dirty, smelly dogs.  At least they are cute.

I am making a mental checklist of all the things I have to do in the morning.  I set out my clothes, set out my plastic retainers for all my piercings, I should probably set out my meds so I don’t forget to take them … I do feel like I am forgetting something though.  I hate that feeling.

I am thankful that my surgery is in the morning instead of the afternoon.  I was SO hungry last time, and the anticipation was AWFUL.  So this time, I will be in and out (hopefully) before the time I even went in for my last surgery.  And I REALLY don’t want to have to spend the night.  Here’s to hoping.

I am afraid of how much it is going to hurt.  I wish Joey were going to be there.  I hate anesthesia. 

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                                                Sad To Say Goodbye ....

                                            Our "See Ya Soon" Kiss ....

Joey’s last day here was amazing.  We had such a good day.  We were two kids in a candy store at the New England Aquarium.  It was awesome.  We met up my brother and his fiancé and had a nice dinner together.  And then we drove to the airport.  I wish I could have locked him up in my rental car and never let him leave.  But of course life doesn’t really work that way, so after our hugs and kisses, there he went.  I haven’t cried yet.  I did a little when we hugged goodbye, but other than that, I haven’t.  Which is hard for me to believe, because anyone who knows me will tell you that I am filled with waterworks.  Maybe I am too tired to cry?  Or maybe I am saving it until tomorrow, when I feel like I will have a reason to cry.  Who knows?  Who cares?  All I know is that goodbyes suck.  And I hate them.  But I also know that I am extremely proud of my husband for all he is doing.

And that’s that.  Joey is gone and I have surgery, in sadly, just 7 hours.  So do something for me tonight?  Hug and kiss the ones you love.  What ever you are doing right now, stop it, and tell them that you love them. 

I will be back soon.  Good night.